I was up all night last night doing my Java coursework to reach a deadline, and I didn’t manage to complete it all. It just didn’t work! Very annoying, and a long day it has been. I’m looking forward to June and having my exams, and then taking six months off from Open University. I’m hoping that’ll help with the whole Stress thing…

One of my friends is talking to me a lot on IM about The General Stuff and it’s really helping. Today I managed to call a friend or two on my mobile (no one picked up though!) and even arranged for a social gaming weekend with  a buddy next week. Yeah, it’ll be at home and I’m likely to be in my jammies, but it’s baby steps.

I’m also very lucky in that I work in a very supportive environment where no one makes me feel like my Particular Situation is a problem. In fact, I’ve never felt so looked after in a job before. My manager and my close colleagues are very helpful and make it easier to come to work on days where I’d much rather hide in the closet.

I did that once, hide in the closet. It was about two years ago and I was freaking out after I came home from work, so I went into the closet and sat there until Mr Pharmacist came home to find me. It felt safe in there, in the dark.

So I’m downloading some meditation/new age hippy crap sort of music to play when I’m freaking out or stressing out. The key to life for me is to find methods to cope, and find what relaxes me. I really think those sort of cds are really stupid but they remind me of spas and I love spas. A bit too touchy-feely sometimes but I won’t deny it’s really relaxing.

Spa weekend booked for the weekend after I finish this Java course. Carrot dangling in front of me to make it to the other side. I will cope. I fill find methods of relaxation. I will reduce the noise. I will not be broken down any further.

Now off to bed and the final pages of book six of the Morganville Vampires, a deliciously silly vampire series that stars a Very Nerdy Smart Girl who went to college early and is a wiz in physics and that kinda stuff. Gotta love it! As I said to my colleague Stephen: “It’s about a big nerd and there are vampires!” Then I hugged the book, and all the guys around me laughed at me. I redeemed myself in their eyes by linking them to the new awesome Old Spice advert.

Fantastic punch line. Great delivery. Someone put this man in a comedy, stat!